I wasn't entirely sure when I'd finally managed to fall asleep that night, but it felt like barely even a moment had passed when I was slowly being brought back to consciousness again. I could feel someone's gentle fingers running through my hair, feel the warmth of their body against my chest, and I couldn't help but smile as I sleepily shifted closer to them.
"Morning." Edward's voice was soft, almost timid sounding, and his fingers slowed to a stop against my hair. I sleepily opened my eyes and lifted my head, then inhaled sharply in shock as I realized just how close we were to each other. Christ. Had we been like this all night?
"Um…" His eyes darted down to my lips. "Hi?" I mumbled lamely, then swallowed hard as he gazed up into my eyes. His brow furrowed after a moment, a look of concern clouding his features.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly as he slid his hand down to my lower back. The warmth of his touch burnt me in the best of ways, and I couldn't help but shift back into his touch.
"I'm good," I assured him, smiling softly as he pushed his hand more firmly against my back in response. "How are you?"
"I'm…" He contemplated it for a moment. "Better."
"That's good," I murmured. "Did you sleep okay?"
I brought my hand up to cup his cheek, and his eyes fluttered closed for a moment before he sighed softly and gazed back at me again.
"I slept…" He seemed to struggle to find the words again. "Alright, I guess."
"I'm sorry," I murmured, smiling sadly. He shrugged.
"It's not your fault, baby," he sighed, gently pushing down on my lower back to coax me closer so he could press his forehead to mine. "If it weren't for you being here, I'd have been lucky to sleep at all, and even then, it would be plagued with nightmares."
"I wish there was more I could do," I confessed softly, stroking his cheek with my thumb. "I feel… helpless."
"Baby, you do enough for me already," he breathed, smiling. "Last night… Last night, you gave me everything. Every single part of you… you gave me that. And that was more than I ever…" He trailed off, shaking his head as his smile grew. I glanced down at his chest, feeling my eyes well up with tears.
"Bella?" He sounded worried. "Look at me?"
I shook my head slightly, furiously willing back the tears. His words had hit home; there was more truth in them than he seemed to realize. I had given him… everything. Against my better judgment I had given him my body, and in the process, I'd given him my… I clamped my eyes shut, exhaling an unsteady breath.
"Oh, baby…" Edward breathed, sounding sad. "Come here."
I shook my head again, silently pleading for him to stop talking and let me collect myself again.
"Come here," he repeated, then gently pushed on my lower back, bringing our bodies even closer together than before. My head lifted slightly automatically, and our lips somehow seemed to find each other's, pressing together softly with neither of our permissions.
I froze for a moment, my eyes locking onto his for the briefest of seconds before fluttering closed as his lips slowly moved against mine, gently coaxing them to part. I heard myself moan softly as he pulled me up against him, his hand slipping down to my thigh and hitching my leg up over his hip as we kissed, letting me feel his growing reaction to me.
"Edward…" I breathed, pulling back from him slightly so I could meet his gaze. His eyes were full of genuine desire, but there was something else there that made my chest seem to swell, and I couldn't help but smile as I slowly trailed my hand down his chest, heading to the one part of him I knew was craving attention.
Edward swallowed audibly, then reached down and gripped my hand, entwining our fingers and holding me still as he crushed his lips to mine, covering up my groan of protest. I twisted my hand in his grip, unsure of what the problem was, but he just held me tighter and trailed kisses across my cheek to my ear.
"Baby, no," he breathed. "We need to talk first."
I hesitated for a moment, knowing he was right, then sighed softly before whispering, "Go along with this."
He nodded slightly against me, and I pulled back from him again, smirking.
"Baby?" I murmured, gazing straight into his eyes as I pushed my hips towards his. "Do you still have that, uh… lube in the shower?"
"Of course," he replied, covering his confusion with a small smirk. I grinned widely.
"Good. 'Cause I was thinking that maybe we could, you know…" I pulled his hand round behind me and pressed it against my ass, gently biting down on my bottom lip. "Try again?"
"Bella…" he breathed, looking slightly awed. I blushed, then pushed his hand harder against me and leaned in closer to him, leaving our lips barely an inch apart.
"I think if we… take it slow this time? Maybe we might be able to…" I pushed my hips back against his hand, then inhaled sharply when his fingers barely grazed me. "We might be able to actually… you know."
"Fuck," Edward mouthed, and before I could properly register the movement, he was pulling me on top of him and pressing his lips to mine more urgently than before.
I groaned softly as my knees landed on either side of his hips, bringing us flush together, and as he roughly parted my lips with his own, Edward's hands came up to cup my ass cheeks, squeezing hard. I shifted over him so I could kiss him easier, then gasped when I slid up against the underside of his shaft, making him growl.
"Fuck, Bella," he hissed, using his grip on me to guide my movements over him before splaying his fingers and letting the tip of one of them brush against my other entrance.
It felt strangely good, him touching me there, but I made no move to encourage or discourage him, unsure if that was what I really wanted. The idea had just sprung to mind as a way to get us out here and into the shower to talk… what if he actually wanted that?
"Easy, baby," he breathed against my lips, smiling reassuringly before kissing me deeply and slowly pushing himself upright, causing me to shift in his lap. I brought my legs round to make myself more comfortable, and moaned softly as he kissed his way to my ear again.
"Don't worry," he whispered. "I'm not going to actually do anything to you, not without your permission. Just…" He smiled against me. "Go along with this. Okay?"
I shifted my hips in response, hoping he'd take that for the silent yes I intended it to be. He did.
Pulling me tightly against him and forcing me to tighten my hold on him with my legs, Edward shifted round until his legs were off the bed, then squeezed my ass in warning before standing up and bouncing me slightly higher up against him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders securely, smiling as our lips met in a gentle kiss, then pulled back from him slightly to catch his gaze again.
"You sure you want to do this?" he asked, and I could tell he wasn't just talking about our supposed trip to the shower. I hesitated for just a moment, knowing we needed to talk but dreading the possible outcomes.
"I'm sure," I finally told him, giving him a weak smile. He smiled back, then leaned me backwards suddenly, making me yelp in shock as I desperately clutched at his shoulders to stop myself from falling.
"What are you-" I cried, only to cut myself off with a laugh as he suddenly lowered his face to my breasts and nuzzled them. "You're so weird."
"I'm weird?" he teased, looking stunned. "Sweetheart, you're asking me to do this…" He brought me upright again and pressed his finger between my cheeks, making me inhale sharply in shock. "I think that makes you different from most people, and that means you can be classed as 'weird'."
"Oh, really?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "Well, in that case, you might as well go back to bed, baby, 'cause I can't imagine why you'd want to be with someone who's 'weird', even if they are going to let you fuck their ass."
Edward stared at me, wide eyed, then, before I could comprehend what was going on, he walked forwards and pushed me up against the bathroom door, growling deep in his chest. My back made a small thumping sound against the door on impact, but instead of causing me pain, it only seemed it excite me even more.
"Jesus, Edward," I muttered as he pushed his hips forward, causing him to slide against me. "What are you… I…"
"Did it ever occur to you that 'weird' is extraordinarily hot?" he murmured against my neck as he scattered kisses down it, pressing his body into mine.
"Maybe?" I mumbled lamely, then groaned when he gently bit down on the area between my neck and shoulder.
"Well, it should have," he breathed, bringing his lips back up to mine. "Because that's exactly what you are."
"Weird or hot?" I asked, though I knew I probably should have been shutting up right about then.
"Both," he replied, laughing softly against my lips. "Definitely both."
"Then… why are we still against this door and not in the shower?" I wondered.
"I have absolutely no idea," he muttered, and I smiled widely as he pushed down on the door handle and carried me into the bathroom, roughly kicking the door shut behind us before adjusting his hold on me so I was more secure.
"Mmm, Edward," I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder, knowing I couldn't exactly stop our banter now without it being suspicious.
"You like that, don't you, baby?" he asked, a teasing note to his tone.
"Mhmm," I replied truthfully, nodding. I felt him smile as he kissed the top of my head, then sighed softly when he gently ran his fingers through my hair.
"Then get your ass in that shower," he teased, but his actions betrayed his words – he held me tighter to him as he walked us over to the shower, not even giving me the chance to try and get down, had I wanted to. It was almost as though he was… worried? Like he was thinking that whatever he wanted to talk to me about carried a high risk factor to it or something… that maybe this was his last chance to hold me so close.
I wrapped my arms around him tighter, trying to quell his nerves, then giggled when he pulled the shower doors open noisily.
"Come get it then, baby," I called, then laughed again as Edward turned on the shower before gently lowering me to my feet and stepping in behind me, obviously worried he might slip on the wet shower floor if he was holding me. I smiled at the gesture, but that smile quickly faded the moment the doors slid shut with a resounding thud and Edward walked over to the opposite side of the shower.
"Um…" I began, confused, then watched as Edward turned on more of the sprays before sitting down on the seat and closing his eyes, allowing his head fall back to rest against the wall.
I stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do, then took a hesitant step towards him and murmured, "Edward?"
He opened his eyes again and smiled weakly, then reached out his hand for me to take. I entwined my fingers with his and allowed him to pull me towards him, coming to rest between his legs. He exhaled a shaky breath, then leaned forwards and rested his forehead against my stomach, gently wrapping his arms around my legs as he did so.
"I-" he began, but the rest of his words seemed to catch in his throat, betraying how hard this was for him. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself, but it didn't seem to work, for when he tried to speak again, his voice cracked, like the words were actually causing him pain.
"My paren-"
I gently ran my fingers through his hair, wanting to give him time to collect himself, and after a few minutes had passed, I realized he'd need more than that to get him through this, that maybe it was time for me to try and initiate things by talking about myself; maybe if I opened up to him, it'd be easier for him to open up to me.
"My mom died when I was eight," I told him, my voice coming out much quieter than I'd intended. I cleared my throat, then tried again. "She was, um… She was always telling my dad to be careful and… She worried about him more than herself sometimes, and when he'd tell her to lock the windows and doors while he was gone, she… She usually listened, more for his sake than hers, I think." I smiled and closed my eyes, shaking my head bitterly. "She wasn't an idiot by any means – she knew the risks of my dad's job, knew that there was always a chance something would go wrong… She just never realized how high that chance was, I don't think.
"I mean, you're meant to feel safe in your own home – it's the one place you can let your guard down and not have to worry about death or something awful happening because your home is… it's like your own fortress. Impenetrable… Nothing's supposed to get you when you're at home." I swallowed back my tears, still running my fingers through Edward's hair, more for my sake than his now. "But then, one night… My dad had taken me out to get some ice cream, and when we were on our way back…" I closed my eyes, more grateful than ever for Edward's presence; I didn't think I'd be strong enough to continue without him.
"You never forget the lights, do you? Red and blue, red and blue… When you're that young, they're almost mesmerizing. You forget, just for a few moments, that they mean something's wrong. It wasn't until my dad started crying and shouting for my mom that I realized something bad had happened to her. I don't even remember getting out the car, just… People were everywhere… Crying… That was the first time I met Carlisle. He took me to a safehouse, and his wife gave me hot chocolate. They went into the kitchen after a while, and I could hear them talking in quiet voices, saying how it was 'awful' and that 'they' would pay for what they did. I didn't really understand the significance of it until my dad called and told me she was…"
I shuddered.
"My dad had worked for the Agency for three years at that point, and nothing bad had happened. We'd just been a normal family. Well, as normal as a family can be when one of the parents is constantly working and making friends with the neighbors could be the equivalent of signing your own death warrant. We'd been sort of lucky, I guess. We hadn't had to move around a lot until then. A couple of days after my mom was… gone, my dad showed up with our stuff, all packed up in this little van Carlisle had lent him… We moved out of Arizona and got shipped off to some tiny little house in Indiana so we could stay with some other agents, only now, instead of being the Swans, we were the Colemans, and the agents were our 'cousins'."
"Bella…"
I gazed down at Edward and cupped his cheeks in my hands, wanting him to understand and believe what I was telling him.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that… I blamed myself for what happened. I went on for years, thinking that maybe if I hadn't pestered my dad to take me to get ice cream, my mom wouldn't have been murdered. I was eight years old, shouldering the blame for something that was out of my control, and that… That changed me. It took me a long time to realize that my actions… they saved my life. And my dad's. If we had been in that house, all three of us would have been wiped out. I miss my mom every day. But I know that she would have wanted me to move on with my life and not blame myself or feel guilty for it. She would have been disappointed if I'd just given up. And I know that your parents would have probably felt the same, too. They would proud of you right now, Edward. You're fighting back, and that takes more strength than anything else in this world."
Edward exhaled a shuddering breath and reached up to gently wipe the tears I hadn't even realized had fallen from my cheeks.
"How have I only known you this long?" he choked out, gazing straight into my eyes as I leaned in to his touch.
"I don't know," I replied honestly, squeezing his hand.
"It feels like… I've known you longer than I have," he murmured. "And I… feel things for you that I shouldn't yet. And I'm tired of ignoring it. Bella… I need to know that you… I can't…"
"I don't want to pretend anymore," I told him softly, bringing my hand down from his hair to rest against his cheek. "I can't do it; what I feel is too… strong? I feel… connected to you somehow, and I don't… I can't deny that anymore. I can't do my job and pretend I don't care for you at the same time. I don't-"
Edward stood up without warning, making me gasp with surprise, then gently cupped my cheek in his hands, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Fuck the rules," he said softly, gazing into my eyes. I nodded weakly, my breathing shaky as our bodies pressed together, the magnitude of the moment hitting me hard and fast.
"Fuck the rules," I agreed, then let out a soft moan as Edward slowly lowered his lips to mine, kissing me so tenderly, more tears threatened to spill over.
"You are so beautiful, Bella," he murmured, pressing his forehead to mine. "I tried to tell you before, but-"
"Shhh," I breathed, bringing my hand up to gently cup the back of his neck, my fingertips playing with the soft hair there. "Just… Just…"
He pressed his lips to mine again, kissing me a little deeper than before, and as I wrapped my other arm around him, he slid his hands down my body before gently pulling me up against him, lifting me off the ground. Taking care not to be too rough, he pushed me up against the shower door, using his body to hold me in place as our kisses became more passionate, all the pent-up emotions from before finally spilling out of us.
"Oh, Bella," Edward sighed as I loosely wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting him closer. Always closer.
"I want… I need…" I trailed off, pressing my forehead against his.
"I know, baby. I know," he murmured softly. "But we can't, not like this."
"I-" I began to protest, but he gently cut me off before I could continue.
"Baby, I want to take my time when we're together like that again. I don't want to rush anything and have to constantly worry about whether we're taking too long or if the water's going to run cold."
I nodded in acquiescence, understanding exactly what he meant. That didn't make the ever-present need I felt for him go away, though, and I couldn't stop myself from pulling him further in to me with my legs, bringing our hips flush together.
"Bella-" Edward choked out, then groaned when I ground my hips against his, loving the feel of him against me. "Baby, stop."
"But-"
"I'm this close to just saying fuck waiting right now, so please… If you value my sanity, stop doing that." His eyes fell shut as his forehead pressed harder against mine, and I reluctantly stopped my movements, knowing he was right; this wasn't fair on either of us.
"Thank you," he murmured, kissing me softly once again as his hand slipped a little higher up my thigh.
"Okay, if you value my sanity, I suggest you stop too," I told him, laughing quietly. Edward chuckled softly, then smiled widely before gently lowering me down to the floor again.
Unfortunately, I'd underestimated just how slippery the floor would be, and the moment Edward began to let me go, I lost my balance slightly and cried out in shock, gripping onto his shoulders tightly on reflex to try and stop myself from falling.
Edward hissed in a breath, his eyes clamping shut in pain, and it took me a few moment to realize why.
"Oh, fuck!" I cried, pressing my hand over my mouth. "Edward, I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay," he lied, then attempted to give me a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace.
"Shit, let me take a look at your shoulder," I told him, taking his hand in mine as I prepared to push open the shower doors.
"Bella, it's fine," he tried to protest, tugging on my hand, but I ignored him, choosing to exit the shower and pull him behind me instead, leaving the water running for now.
"Edward, please. Just let me look at it, okay?" I pleaded. "Just to make sure."
Edward rolled his eyes, but let me sit him down on the edge of the bathtub, then watched as I rummaged around for another waterproof dressing to replace the one he currently had; re-sticking dressings was never a good idea. As I felt around one of the higher shelves, my fingers brushed against the condoms covering Rosalie's key, and a thought suddenly occurred to me.
"Edward, what's the date today?"
"Um… the 29th?" he replied, sounding confused.
"Of October, right?" I confirmed as I reached up for the next shelf, smiling when I finally found the waterproof dressings.
"Yeah, why?" Edward asked, frowning at me as I shut the cabinet door and turned to face him.
"My implant expires mid-November, so I'll need to get it taken out," I told him calmly, then smiled as I walked back over to him so he'd know it wasn't that big a deal.
"Oh, okay," he replied after a moment. "Umm… We can just switch to condoms if you'd like? I mean, there are some-"
"You're clean, right?" I cut across as I came to a stop right in front of him.
"Of course I am – I'd never put you at risk lik-"
"Exactly," I replied, cutting him off again before he could work himself up too much. "I knew you wouldn't. And I'm clean too, so problem solved."
"But…" He hesitated a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully. "What about… you know…" He reached out and touched my stomach, making me shiver. It took me a moment to realize what he was hinting at. "It's not that I don't wan-… I… Bella, that's too… risky."
"It'd seal you to me forever," I joked, grinning. "Scary thought, huh?"
Edward laughed and shook his head, but it seemed… forced, almost.
"Baby, I'll go on the pill, okay?" I assured him, cupping his cheek in my hand to try and lighten our suddenly serious conversation. "Or, if it'd make you more comfortable, I'll get another implant. I'm sure Didyme wouldn't mind."
"You shouldn't have to… change your body to-… I don't want you to feel like you have to…"
"I want to feel all of you, Edward. Not latex," I told him, gazing straight into his eyes.
"I want that too, but… Bella…"
"Okay, we can use condoms if it'd make you happier," I compromised, then smiled softly at him before climbing into the bathtub. Bracing myself with my hand on his good shoulder, I sat down behind him with my legs on either side of his to bring us closer. For once, I could see the benefits of having such a luxurious bathtub; it meant we had enough room to comfortably do this. "And I can go on the pill as well, just to make sure."
"I'd rather we…" His hands seemed to fall to my thighs of their own accord, and I felt as well as heard him exhale a deep breath. "I don't want any barriers between us…"
"The pill it is, then," I replied, knowing that I had to be the one to make the final decision. "I'll switch to it in about a week, just in case, and get Didyme to get rid of the implant after."
"Okay, baby," he murmured, gently rubbing my thighs. I placed the waterproof dressing down on the side of the tub before gently kissing his spine, letting my lips linger against his skin.
"Well, at least that's one awkward conversation out the way," I teased as I leaned back again, putting a little distance between us. Edward laughed softly and shook his head, then looked over his shoulder at me.
My smile softened slightly as our gazes met, and I couldn't resist the urge to lean forwards and kiss him softly on the lips. I hummed quietly, letting my eyes fall shut for a moment, then blushed as I moved back again. Now I felt freer to give (and receive) affection from him, I doubted I'd be able to stop myself from doing it.
"Ummm…" I said lamely, embarrassed by my actions. "How do you want me to do this?"
He raised his eyebrow at me, and I blushed deeper as I clarified, "Changing the dressing, I mean."
"Rip it off?" he suggested, shrugging.
"That might pull on the steri-strips though," I pointed out. "I'll just… I'll do it carefully but quickly. If it hurts, tell me."
"Okay," he agreed, rubbing my thighs again. I shivered at the gentleness of his touch, then shook my head to collect myself again before carefully reaching up and beginning to peel back the topmost corner of the dressing.
"You know, Didyme was saying there's some kind of celebration planned that's coming up pretty soon," I said lightly, trying to distract him as I continued to peel off the dressing.
"Yeah, that'll be the annual Halloween party," he explained, not even flinching as the adhesive pulled on his skin a little. "It's basically an excuse for everyone to dress up and get drunk. Kind of like that party in Mean Girls, I guess."
"You've seen Mean Girls?" I asked incredulously. "Jeez, Edward, and here I thought you were one of those hardcore masculine types."
"Blame Corinne," he laughed, shaking his head. "She sat me down and forced me to watch it with her a few years ago."
My eyebrows went up in surprise. "Didyme's daughter?"
"Yeah, um… Didyme and I are… I guess close would be the right word to describe it. She took good care of me when I first got here, and I've been on business trips with her and her family a few times," he explained, not even flinching as I pulled the last of the dressing off. "Bella, she's not like the others. I can't explain it right, but I just… She doesn't think the way they do. They're all about power and suffering, but she just wants to ease the pain she sees in others. Marcus isn't truly bad either – he's just in far too deep now. Both of them are."
"Edward, who are these people?" I breathed, my voice coming out much shakier than I'd hoped. "I mean, they're so much more than anyone's ever realized, aren't they? Nobody really knows the extent of their power but you."
"I only know what I'm told or see," he replied, "but you're right. Nobody outside this organization knows how far they've spread. They're like a disease, Bella… They're everywhere. For every branch of the organization that's destroyed, another, much stronger one is formed. Why do you think taking them to court and trying them doesn't get anybody anywhere?"
"Because the only ones who know who's in charge are the people highest up," I realized. "Everyone else is disposable."
"Exactly," he replied, turning awkwardly to face me. "There's no escaping them."
"We can bring them down, Edward. Once the lynchpins fall, the entire thing will collapse. We can seize their funds, their assets… everything. That's mostly why I came to get you and Rosalie out of here. I save you, you save us," I told him. "I planned this from scratch. I know what I'm doing, and that's why I need you to trust me."
"I do trust you. With my life," he breathed, cupping my cheek in his hand. "But, Bella… What you're doing? It's suicide."
I smiled. "I know."
Edward shook his head and sighed sadly. "Did you know before you agreed to come here? Bella, they will not hesitate to kill you if they find out who you really are."
"I know that," I assured him. "And I knew that this was a dangerous job before I took it on. But I thought it was worth the risk, and now I know for sure that it is."
"You know for sure that it's… what?" Edward asked, frowning.
"Worth it," I murmured as I gazed directly into his eyes. "You are worth it."
"Bella…" he breathed, his expression turning into one of sadness. "I'm not worth dying over…"
"Y-" I began, but he cut me off.
"I know the consequences of this choice you're making," he said sadly. "My parents risked everything trying to bring this group down, and when they failed… they left behind someone who loved them more than anything. I don't want to be the one responsible for causing your death, not when people love you the way I know they do."
"You don't know if I have anyone waiting back home who loves me," I told him. "Don't bring that upon yourself. Nobody would miss me if I was gone, not really."
"Alice would," he replied, his gaze intense. "Jake would. Jasper would."
"How did you…"
"You talk in your sleep sometimes," he explained, smiling as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.
Fear jolted through me, sending me into a panic. "What?"
"You've never said anything revealing or bad," he assured me. "Just the occasional word. It's kind of cute, actually. But, Bella?"
"Mmm?"
"Even if they didn't exist, you'd still have someone who'd miss you." His voice was quiet and shy-sounding, and that same unidentifiable emotion I'd seen so many times passed across his face as he spoke.
"Who?"
"Me," he murmured, and I swear to God, my heart skipped a beat right then.
"I…" My mouth opened and closed as I struggled to find the right words to say. "Edward, you don't even know me…"
"So?" He laughed softly when he saw my puzzled expression. "Bella, if I hadn't come back that day… if he had stabbed me in the heart instead of my shoulder… would you have missed me?"
"Of course," I replied, aghast he would even suggest otherwise. "I mean, even back then, I…" I trailed off as understanding sunk in.
"What makes you think it wouldn't be the same for me?" he asked softly, his gaze shifting to my lips as his thumb brushed over them. I opened my mouth to speak, unsure of how to reply because, in all honesty, I didn't have an answer to give him.
"Come on," he urged, standing up suddenly and taking my hands in his. "We're running out of time. Even if we had… you know…" He glanced pointedly between our bodies. "We still would have come out by now; the water must be freezing."
"Well, if you're supposedly 'popping my ass cherry', then…"
Edward threw his head back and laughed as he pulled me over to the shower and slid the doors open. "I still can't believe you came up with that."
"Neither can I," I replied honestly, blushing. "I guess it just… was the first thing I thought of that would allow us the most time together."
"That was the first thing you thought of?" he asked incredulously. "Your mind works in mysterious ways, Miss Swan."
"That it does, Masen. That it does," I teased, then winked before stepping into the shower. As I turned to shut the doors again, Edward frowned.
"Aren't you going to let me in too?"
"Nope," I replied, smiling. "Unless you're a masochist who likes it when his wounds take a stupidly long time to heal?"
"Wh-" Understanding suddenly dawned on him. "Bella, my shoulder's-"
"Unprotected and vulnerable," I finished for him, shaking my head. "Just… wait here for a sec, okay? Let me turn off the shower and stuff."
"Okay," he agreed, then watched as I shut the doors and hurriedly moved to the spray controls, avoiding the cold water as much as possible. The moment I switched off the water, my ears seemed to start ringing; the sudden silence was almost deafening. I'd forgotten how loud the shower was until now.
Not wanting to be apart from Edward any longer than necessary, I quickly walked back over to the doors and slid them open, then laughed softly when Edward offered me his hand.
"Edward, I don't need help getting out, you know," I chided, but smiled anyway as he wrapped a towel around me and pulled me into a hug.
"You sure needed help getting in," he teased softly, switching into character.
"Getting it in, you mean," I corrected, unable to stop myself from laughing at the ridiculousness of what we were saying.
"Are you okay, baby?" he asked, sounding concerned. "You're not too sore, are you?"
"I'm a little sore, I guess, but I expected that; you're not exactly small," I told him somewhat truthfully, then pulled back from his embrace and took his hand, guiding him back over to the bathtub so I could put the new dressing on his shoulder.
"I could always…" He moved in close behind me and pressed his hips against mine as I bent over to grab the dressing. "Distract you?"
I shuddered at the feel of him against me, then sighed as I felt him press his chest against my back, wrapping his arms tightly around me from behind.
"Baby, I know we only just got out of bed, but… I think I just wanna lie with you for a while," I told him, being completely honest with him that time. I felt him smile against my neck, then let him turn me round to face him.
"I'd like that," he said softly, and his gaze darted to my mouth for a second before he slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
"Thank you," he murmured as he pulled back again to gazed into my eyes. "For letting me in."
"Okay, I'm just going to pretend you didn't add that last part," I teased, but hoped and prayed he'd understand what I was silently trying to tell him with my eyes.
"I'm dirty-minded," he replied with a shrug, though his eyes let me know he'd understood me loud and clear. "What can I say?"
"Preferably nothing," I joked, then gestured for him to turn around. "Just let me dry you off, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am."
I smacked him lightly on his good shoulder for being a smartass, then quickly peeled back the packaging on the dressing before placing it against his back, ensuring the entire wound was covered. Once I was sure it was in the right place, I carefully pressed down on the outside of the dressing to help it adhere to his skin, making sure it was properly stuck down for fear of accidentally catching the edge of it with my nails when we were together.
"Okay, you're all done," I told him, gently kissing his spine before allowing him to turn round and face me again.
"Need some help drying off, or are you okay to go back to bed?" he asked, clearly hoping I'd say the latter.
"I'm fine to go back," I assured him with a smile. "Just give me a sec to tie my hair back."
"No!" He grabbed my wrist, stopping me before I had the chance to walk over to the sink to get a hair band. "Leave your hair down. You look so pretty with your hair like that."
"If I hadn't just spent God knows how long in that shower letting you do depraved things to me, I'd say you were trying to get into my pants, Edward," I teased, then smiled shyly and took his hand in mine. Our fingers entwined automatically, like it was natural for them to be like that, and I couldn't help but laugh softly, shaking my head.
"What?" he asked, taking a step closer so our chests were almost touching.
"Us," I replied, and the look on his face told me he knew exactly what I meant by that.
"Come on," he murmured, squeezing my hand. "Let's go and lay down for a while. I'll set the alarm, so even if we fall asleep again, we'll still be up in time for lunch."
"Okay," I agreed, smiling widely as I dropped my towel to the floor. Edward's eyes widened briefly, but then he gazed down at my body as though seeing it properly for the first time, despite us both having been naked ever since we'd woken up.
"Beautiful," he sighed when his focus finally returned to my eyes. I blushed under the intensity of his gaze, but somehow gathered the courage to turn away from him and tug on his hand, urging him to come with me into the bedroom.
Laughing softly, he overtook me on the way to the door, then pulled it open without hesitation, making a big show of gesturing for me to go through before him.
"Ladies first," he murmured, smirking.
"Baby, I'm hardly ladylike," I told him. "Oh, and for the record…" I leaned in close, bringing my lips to his ear as I whispered, "I think you're beautiful too."
With that, I breezed past him and walked straight over to the bed, smiling softly to myself. I felt… relieved. It was like this big weight had been lifted from both of us, and I decided to take advantage of the feeling while it lasted.
I lifted the covers up from the bed and slid in beneath them, playfully shifting over to Edward's side before rolling over so my back was to him. I heard him laugh softly from somewhere nearby, then smiled again when I felt the bed dip behind me as Edward got in too.
"Space stealer," he muttered as he rolled onto his side and spooned me, bringing our bodies flush together.
"Ass-cherry stealer," I retaliated, pulling his arm more securely around me and sliding my fingers between his.
"That's the best you could do?" he teased, shaking his head in disbelief. "Wow. I really must have tired you out."
"You did." I pushed my hips back against his. "That was all… very intense."
"Mmm… It was, wasn't it?" he mused, and I knew we were no longer talking about our supposed antics in the shower. "I hope it wasn't too intense for you, though. It wasn't too much to handle all at once?"
"I handled it just fine," I assured him, squeezing his hand as I turned slightly towards him. "I can handle anything you give me."
"Somehow, I think that even you have your limits, baby," he murmured softly, then gently pressed his lips to mine. "And you'll need to tell me when I reach them."
"I will, I promise," I swore.
"Good," he whispered. "Now, close your eyes for me and try to get some rest. You're going to need your strength later on."
I nodded in acquiescence, then rolled fully back onto my side again and shut my eyes, somehow managing to drift off to sleep despite having only been awake a short while, and blissfully unaware of just how truthful his last statement would turn out to be.
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