Camisado - Chapter Eleven

"Y-Y-You've been to Seattle?" Rosalie stammered, her eyes wide and hopeful.

"Yeah," I replied, smiling. "A good friend of mine lives there, real close to this amazing little coffee shop called McCarty's."

Rosalie closed her eyes and covered her mouth with her hands as tears rolled down her cheeks, her entire body sagging with relief. I took a hesitant step towards her, then laughed softly when she opened her eyes and rushed into my arms, shaking as she cried.

"Thank you," she whispered, clutching me tightly. "Thank you so much. I thought… I never… "

"Shhh," I soothed as my own eyes welled up with tears. "It's okay, Rose. We're going to get you out of here."

"I thought Emmett wasn't… I thought…" She hiccupped, trying to control her sobs. "I called but when nobody showed, I… Thank you…"

"Emmett never forgot you," I assured her, stroking her hair with my hand to comfort her. "He said to tell you he's sorry for not getting to you in time."

"I-It's okay," she replied, shaking her head. "It's not his fault. I was so stupid. I shouldn't have answered the door. He told me not to."

"You're not stupid, Rosalie," I told her softly. "What you did was incredibly brave."

"All I did was find a fucking folder." She pulled away from my embrace, wiping her eyes with her thumbs as she did so. "I never realized things would end up like this."

"Nobody ever does," I murmured, smiling sadly. "If they did… Nobody would do it."

"I would," she replied fiercely. "I'd do it again if it means these psychos get put away."

"And they will be," I assured her. "Once we get you out of here, they're done."

She nodded, brushing away the few tears that fell from her eyes as she did so, and I gently placed my hand on her arm as she spent a few moments composing herself.

Once she was calmer, she held her hand up, silently telling me to stay put while she dashed across to the chest of drawers on the other side of the room.

"I have something to give to you," she told me as she pulled out one of the drawers and reached in for something I couldn't see, grimacing slightly in pain before smiling widely and pulling her hand out, obviously having found what she was looking for.

"You need to keep this safe," she said softly as she slid the drawer back into place before rushing back towards me and handing me a gold key.

"What is it?" I asked, confused, but did as she'd said anyway and shoved the key down my bra for safe-keeping.

"It's the key to a safety deposit box," Rosalie explained, lowering her voice. "I'm not going to tell you where it is yet, but I promise I will once we're out of here. As grateful as I am to you, I don't trust you not to leave me behind yet."

"I understand," I told her softly, nodding. If I were her, I'd probably have done the same thing.

"Thank you," she replied weakly, then exhaled shakily. "God, I need to sit down."

I guided her over to the bed and gently sat down beside her, rubbing my hand up and down her back to soothe her as she bent over and rested her face in her hands.

"I should fix my make-up," she finally mumbled a few minutes later as she finally sat up straight again. "He'll think something's up otherwise."

"Okay," I replied, then watched as she got up and walked round to the other side of the bed and picked up a small make-up bag off the bedside table.

She moved back round to sit next to me again, then poured the contents of the bag out onto the bed. I looked at her quizzically.

"In case they come in," she explained, smiling.

"Good thinking," I told her. "You should probably change your make up a little too – we can say we were swapping make-up tips or something."

Rosalie nodded, then carefully began to reapply her make up, making sure she covered up any traces of her tears. It was like watching someone put on a mask, and by the time she was finished, she was nearly unrecognizable. She looked… strong.

"I should start playing nice for Royce," she said, then turned to look at me. "He's not as cruel when I play along, and if he thinks you're causing the change in me… Maybe he'll let me spend more time with you."

"You don't have to," I told her softly.

"Do you think it would work?" she asked, gazing straight into my eyes. "Would it help you at all, being able to speak to me?"

"Maybe," I admitted. "The more we know about Royce's routines, the better. But there are other ways for Edward and I to do that."

"But this would be the easiest, wouldn't it?

I nodded, casting my gaze down to my lap.

"It's settled then," she said firmly, then swallowed audibly. "I'll play nice."

"Rose-"

"I want to do this," she told me, smiling weakly. "I want to help, and if letting him…" She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth for a moment before recomposing herself and continuing, "If letting him think he's won means we can get out faster, then I'll do it."

I nodded, then covered her hand with mine, unsure of what to say.

"I can do this," she murmured, though who she was trying to convince, I wasn't sure.

Before either of us could do anything more though, the bedroom door opened, and Rosalie quickly grasped the mirror and the tube of liquid eyeliner from the bed to provide our cover before turning to face the new arrival.

"Hey." It was Edward.

Smiling brightly, I turned to face him, but my smile quickly faded when I saw how tense he looked. "Hey."

"We're finished talking now, so if you want to come back in and join us, you can," he told us softly.

"Oh, okay," I replied. "I was just about to show Rosalie how to do that cool liquid eyeliner flick thing, but we can do that another time." I turned to look at Rosalie. "Unless you'd rather we do it now?"

"No, it's fine," Rosalie assured us, smiling.

"Okay, give us a sec to pack up and we'll-"

"I can do that myself, Bella," Rosalie cut across. "I'll be out with you in a bit."

"Are you sure?" I asked, placing my hand on hers. She nodded, squeezing my hand, then mouthed, "Go. Before Royce gets mad."

"Alright. See you soon," I told her, then quickly hugged her for a moment before standing and walking round the bed and over to Edward.

He seemed to relax infinitesimally the moment he embraced me, but I could tell from the way his entire body was trembling slightly that he wasn't doing well. At all.

"You okay?" I whispered. He shook his head slightly, then leaned back so he could look me in the eyes.

"Does she know?" he murmured. I nodded, then cupped his cheeks in my hands and pressed my lips to his, knowing instinctually that he needed the comfort my touch provided. He exhaled a shaky breath through his nose, then reluctantly pulled away and broke our embrace, choosing to hold my hand instead.

After waving goodbye to Rosalie since we all knew that would be our only chance to do so, Edward led me out of the bedroom and through to the main suite, where Royce was sitting on the couch waiting.

"Sorry about that, Isabella," he called as we approached. "Business talk, you know?"

"Don't apologize," I chided, forcing myself to smile in understanding. "I'm kind of getting used to not knowing what's going on around me."

"It must be frustrating for you," he sympathized, but I shook my head and shrugged.

"If I'm not meant to know, I'm not meant to know," I told him as Edward and I sat down. Royce smiled, seemingly impressed by my attitude, but his smile quickly faded when Edward pulled me in to him and kissed the side of my neck. My eyes fluttered closed of their own accord at his touch, and when I opened them again, Royce was glaring at Edward.

"Rosalie?" he called, his eyes still fixed on Edward, who wrapped his arm around my waist and squeezed.

Rosalie hurried out the bedroom and slowed to a stop once she reached Royce.

"Yes?" she asked, then gasped when he suddenly pulled her sideways onto his lap. Christ. It was a one-sided pissing contest.

"I was just wondering what was taking so long," Royce replied, his voice so soft it sounded almost caring.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, then, in a move that surprised us all, she swallowed nervously and leaned in to kiss him. Royce's eyebrows shot up in shock, but when Rosalie moved her hand up to cup his cheek, he smirked and pushed his lips harder onto hers, completely dominating the situation once again.

I glared at Royce, disgusted by his actions, then felt my breath catch in my throat when his eyes suddenly shot open and gazed straight into mine. I blushed, then looked down at my lap, only to quickly glance up at him again and find that he was smirking at me once more. He thought I was jealous.

"Edward, I don't feel so good," I lied, knowing this was the perfect out for us both.

"What's wrong, baby?" Edward asked, sounding concerned.

"I don't know," I mumbled, then glanced pointedly at Royce, who was still staring straight at me. "I just feel sick all of a sudden."

Royce pulled away from Rosalie, but kept his arms wrapped possessively around her. "You do look kind of pale, Isabella," he commented, smirking. "Maybe you should go and have a lie down for a bit."

"Not if you two still need to talk," I protested weakly, though I knew he'd already said everything he needed to. "I should be fine."

"Baby, if you're not well-"

"Edward and I have nothing to discuss that can't wait," Royce cut across, smiling. "If you're feeling unwell, you should rest."

"Are you sure?" I replied, biting my bottom lip. "I don't want to inconvenience you."

"Nonsense," he cried, shaking his head. "It's no problem."

"Okay, um…" I turned to Edward, whose eyes were filled with worry for me, then awkwardly stood up and leaned over the coffee table, offering Royce my hand. He shook it instantly, his grip a little too tight to be casual. "We should do this again some time."

"Yes, we should," he replied, smiling. I smiled awkwardly back, then pulled my hand from his and muttered goodbye to Rosalie before moving away from the couches and over to the door. Edward hung back for a few moments to say his own goodbyes, but soon he was standing right beside me and slipping his hand into mine.

"Let's go," he mumbled, then pulled open the door and gently guided me out into the hallway. The moment the door clicked shut, my entire body sagged with relief, and so did Edward's. I let go of his hand and slid my arm around his waist to bring us closer, leaning my head against his shoulder as we walked down the hallway to our suite.

"Want to just chill out for a bit?" I suggested as Edward swiped his key card through the reader. I knew he'd probably want to just spend some time with me after his conversation with Royce, and decided I wasn't going to push him to tell me anything for now; it would do more harm than good.

"We can watch another film if you want?" he said softly as the door clicked open and he gestured for me to go in. I smiled, then took his hand in mine and pulled him through the door behind me, waiting for him to shut it again before moving over to the DVD shelf.

"I want to watch something funny," I told him, then shivered when he stepped behind me and pressed his body against mine, his arms moving to wrap tightly around me.

"Have you seen The Proposal?" he asked as he began gently kissing my neck and nuzzling my hair.

"N-No," I replied, then covered his hands in mine as I leaned back into his touch. "Is it good?"

"No idea," Edward muttered as he moved to press against me harder, almost as though he was trying to merge us into one. "But I don't particularly care, either."

"We'll watch that then," I said softly, then reached forwards to take it off the shelf before turning towards the TV, only to be stopped by Edward, who embraced me tightly.

"Bella," he breathed as he buried his face in my hair. I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. It made my chest ache, knowing how much he was hurting.

"It's okay, baby," I whispered, then kissed his shoulder before leaning back from him so I could gaze into his eyes. "You go change into something more comfortable while I put the DVD in, okay?"

He nodded reluctantly, and I leaned in to kiss him gently before smiling and turning to put the DVD in the built-in slot on the TV. I heard Edward sigh softly, then the sound of his footsteps as he made his way into the wardrobe to change. In all honesty, I knew neither of us would be paying much attention to the film, but it would provide good background noise and give him an out if he didn't want to talk, so I slid the disk in and pressed the power button on the TV before walking over to the bed and climbing in, pulling the sheet over me to give us some chance at privacy.

A few minutes later, once the DVD had loaded, Edward came out the wardrobe dressed in just a plain t-shirt and his flannel pajama pants from this morning, then climbed into bed beside me without saying a word. I smiled at him, unsure of what to say, then hit the play button on the remote before putting it down on the bedside table.

"This better be good," Edward finally mumbled as he settled back against the pillows, holding his arm up for me to move under.

"It's got Ryan Reynolds in it," I told him as I scooted towards him and rolled onto my side, resting my head on his chest as I slipped my arm around him. "Of course it's going to be good."

"I've never seen anything he's been in, so I wouldn't know," Edward confessed, pulling me in closer to him. I knew he was trying not to let whatever was running through his head affect things, but I could tell he was seriously bothered by whatever it was, and I suddenly found myself hating our situation even more.

"Haven't you seen Just Friends?" I asked him incredulously, then rolled over slightly more, increasing our physical contact as I slid my leg between both of his and gazed up at him. Edward shook his head, clearly having no idea what I was talking about.

"It's a fucking hilarious film," I told him. "We have to watch it at some point."

"I'll ask Gianna to get it for us," he promised, and as he gazed down at me, something seemed to shift inside him. He exhaled a shaky breath, then dipped his head and pressed his lips hard onto mine, making my breathing hitch. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled me higher up against him as the kiss intensified.

I let out a soft moan, sliding my hand up into his hair, then realized how strange it would look to anyone watching; they'd definitely be able to tell something was wrong if they looked close enough. I pulled away suddenly, breathless and grinning.

"What was that for?" I asked, laughing softly.

"I've wanted to do that all through lunch," he told me, seeming to have recovered slightly. "Sorry."

"Jesus, don't apologize!" I chided, shaking my head disbelievingly. "Kissing you is hardly a chore, baby. In fact…" I leaned up kiss him again. "I rather enjoy it."

Edward smirked, though I could tell it was fake, then tilted his head in the direction of the TV.

"Are we gonna watch this or what?" he teased. I rolled my eyes, then settled down against him again, knowing that was his silent way of telling me he was okay.

About half an hour into the film though, he began to get fidgety. I tried not to react, knowing he'd tell me if he needed anything, but couldn't stop myself from gently trailing my fingers across his stomach and shifting my leg up higher between his.

"Bella," he whispered after a few moments. I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him.

"Mmm?"

"Could you, um…" He swallowed nervously. "Could you roll over for me?"

"Uh…" Frowning, I rolled so I was facing away from him. "Like this?"

"Perfect," he breathed, and I gasped in shock when he shifted behind me and pulled the sheet up around us, shielding us from view as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled me back against him.

The moment my back touched his chest, he let out a soft whimper-groan, then bent his legs slightly to bring us closer together as he buried his face in my neck and pushed his hips against mine.

"Better?" I asked softly. He nodded against me, pressing his lips against my neck.

"Just… stay right here," he murmured. Smiling sadly, I threaded my fingers between his and squeezed tightly in silent reassurance.

"Edward, I'm not going anywhere," I promised. "There's no place else I'd rather be."

Edward breathed out a soft sigh, then tightened his hold on me slightly before settling down again, seemingly content with our new position.

It felt so… nice, laying with him like that. I marveled at the way our bodies seemed to fit each other's perfectly, just like we were… I shook my head and laughed softly at the ridiculous, clichéd thought, not even letting my mind start to travel down that route. He only needed me because I served a purpose, I reminded myself. If it weren't for the fact that, somehow, I was able to calm him, he wouldn't be touching me like this. He didn't want me – he just needed me.

Feeling saddened by that realization, I tried to distract myself by concentrating on the film, but it didn't work. I was hyperaware of how close we were now, of the feel of his breath as he exhaled against my neck, that it was impossible to focus on anything else but him.

After a while though, I noticed a change. His breathing had evened out and gotten slower during the film, but now he wasn't holding me as tightly either, which was slightly disconcerting.

"Edward?" I whispered. When he didn't respond, I carefully moved out from under his arm and turned so I could look at him.

He was asleep.

I smiled to myself, my chest swelling with some unidentifiable emotion at the realization that I was the one who had calmed him enough for that to happen, then leaned down to kiss the top of his head before climbing off the bed and walking over to the wardrobe to change into something more comfortable.

Since I knew I'd probably end up napping with Edward, I removed Rosalie's key from my bra and changed into a pair of sleep shorts and a camisole, then hung my dress back up before walking into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hide the key. I decided the best place for it would be in the cabinet since the odds of anyone but us looking in there were slim, but made sure to cover it with the condoms I'd found in there the week before so it would be hidden from view before shutting the cabinet and moving to brush my teeth.

I'd barely finished rinsing my mouth when I heard Edward cry out. I quickly finished drying my mouth with the towel, then ran towards the bathroom door in a panic, unsure of what was going on.

"Bella? BELLA?"

I threw the door open and rushed out into the bedroom, calling his name. When he saw heard my voice, his head snapped in my direction, but he still seemed to be in panic-mode.

"I thought you were gone," he gasped, his voice cracking on the last word. My eyes filled with tears as I took in his pained and almost heart-broken expression. He looked so lost…

I hurried over to where he was sitting on the bed and stood in front of him, cupping his cheeks in my hands as I tried to calm him.

"You weren't here," he whispered, his eyes wide and panicked. "You weren't here and I dreamt you were… You said you wouldn't leave."

"Shhhh," I breathed, gently pushing his hair back from his face so I could look into his eyes more easily. "I'm here now. I've got you."

He nodded weakly, but I could tell whatever he'd dreamt about was still at the forefront of his mind, so leaned forwards and kissed him, desperate to soothe him, to take away his pain. He whimpered softly against my mouth, then pulled me down so that I was straddling him and wrapped his arms around me so tightly it was almost painful.

"I need you," he whispered as his hands began frantically clutching every part of me they could reach. "I can't… You weren't…"

"I'm here," I breathed against his lips, sliding my arms around him as I allowed him to kiss me harder and more urgently. "Take whatever you need."

"Bella, I…" He clamped his eyes tightly shut, his expression one of pure agony. "I don't know what I… I can't… I don't… You make it… I need you."

Tears filled my eyes again, but I fought to keep them under control as I reached down and pulled my camisole over my head before taking his hands and placing them on my ribcage, instinctually knowing what he needed.

"I'm yours, Edward," I told him as a few tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn't stand knowing he was suffering so much, but wasn't able to provide him with the help he so desperately needed; all I had to give him was me.

"I need… I need…" He cupped my breasts in his hands, then groaned against my lips before suddenly turning and pushing me down onto the bed, his body covering mine completely.

"Bella, please," he whispered, kissing me frantically. I nodded weakly, then reached for the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up as far as it would go. Edward reluctantly pushed himself up from me to allow me to get his t-shirt all the way off, then almost fell back down onto me in his haste to kiss me again.

"Easy," I murmured, wincing as he kissed me too forcefully. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Make it stop," he pleaded. He sounded so broken, so desperate… I'd known he was troubled, known that he had demons, but to see him like this… I'd never felt so helpless before in my life.

"I don't know how…" My voice cracked mid-sentence, and I felt more tears threaten to spill over, but blinked them away furiously.

"Yes, you do," he whispered, and before I could fully comprehend what was happening, he sat up straight and pulled on the waistband of my shorts, practically yanking them off my legs in his haste to get closer to me. "I need you."

Nodding in understanding, I pulled him back down to me and kissed him as passionately as I could, then reached down between us to slide my hand into his pajama pants. He groaned loudly when my fingers brushed against him, thrusting his hips towards my hand automatically, then whimpered when I moved my hand again, gripping his waistband instead.

"It's okay, Edward," I assured him, using both hands to push down his pants before sliding the fabric further down his legs with my feet. "You're safe. I'm not going to let them hurt you."

Edward kicked his pajama pants off, then settled between my legs again and whimpered when he felt the tip of him brush against me. I knew my hand wouldn't be enough for him anymore; he was far too worked up, so I slid my arms around him instead, allowing him to thrust against me.

"B-Bella," he choked out, pressing his forehead hard against mine as his length slid against me. "Oh, God…"

"Shhh," I soothed as I tilted my face up and kissed him softly, only to break away with a gasp as the very tip of him accidentally slipped inside me just moments later.

"Oh, please," he whispered, clamping his eyes shut. "Please."

I swallowed nervously. "Okay."

Exhaling a shaky breath, he opened his eyes and gazed at me, then pushed forwards and let out a guttural moan as he slid inside me. My eyes rolled upwards and my mouth dropped open at the overwhelming fullness I felt, and I whimpered softly when he pulled his hips back before thrusting forwards again.

"Oh, Bella," he breathed, burying his face in my neck as his arms trembled above me.

"Closer," I whispered, then tugged him down to me, making him support his weight with his forearms. "You can be closer."

"It's too much," he murmured. "I can't… this is so… you're… Bella…"

I wrapped my legs around his waist, then guided his head away from my neck so I could kiss him. "It's okay."

"Feels so good," he breathed against my lips. "Why do you feel so good?"

He began slowly rocking his hips, small moans and groans escaping his lips each time he was fully seated within me. I had to clench my fists against his back to stop myself from crying out, afraid he'd take it the wrong way, but after one particularly hard thrust, I couldn't stop myself from moaning his name.

"Yes," he hissed, smiling against my lips. "That's it, baby."

"Oh, my-" I cut myself off with another breathless moan, wrapping my arms tightly around him and burying my face in his neck as he began to thrust faster, completely overwhelming me.

"Oh, Bella," he breathed, then slid one of his hands down to grip my thigh, hitching my leg higher up his body. I sucked in a sharp breath when his next thrust hit a new spot, then felt him smile against my shoulder when his next thrust did the exact same thing.

"How can… I…" I held him tighter to me, feeling my eyes well up with unbidden tears again as his hips met mine over and over again, never relenting, never slowing…

"Do you feel that?" he whispered into my ear, his breaths hot and heavy. "Bella, this is… I've never… I need this."

"I know," I murmured, then laid back against the bed more fully and gripped his hands in mine. "I need it too."

"Baby, are you close?" he breathed, groaning softly when he felt me tighten around him.

"Nearly," I promised. I could feel that warmth start to settle over me, that gradual build-up of pleasurable tension…

"I'm so close," he mumbled. "I don't know if I can…"

"It's okay," I assured him, smiling as I leaned up to kiss him. "Just let go, Edward."

He squeezed my hands tightly, then looked down between us, watching as he moved inside me.

"Oh, my God," he groaned. "Bella, that looks so… I'm gonna… I'm…"

I pressed my lips hard onto his, muffling his cry as his hips thrust against mine one more time and his entire body tensed before releasing, his grip on my hands tightening to the point where it was almost painful. With one final moan, his arms gave out and he collapsed on top of me, burying his face in my neck as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his shoulder.

"Bella…" he breathed. "Oh, Bella…"

"Shhh," I soothed, resting my cheek against the side of his head. "It's okay. You're okay."

He let out a deep, shuddering breath, then slipped his hands beneath me and held me tightly to him, as though he was trying to merge us into one, more than we already were. I held him just as tightly back and scattered kisses across every inch of skin I could reach, wanting to cling on to this moment as long as possible. I may not have gotten a physical release from us being together, but I had had a mental one of sorts – a feeling of complete peace whilst he was inside me like that, and that was enough for me. I just hated knowing that the peace he got from it wasn't on the same level; he needed me because I gave him it, not because he wanted me.

But I tried not to think about that. All that really mattered was that Edward was okay, that he wasn't going to go under again, so I laid there, holding him and hoping he was coming back to me. I could feel his chest rise and fall with each steadying breath he took, feel the way his shudders turned to tremors then to the occasional shiver and then… calm.

I felt him smile against my neck. "Bella…"

"I'm here," I whispered, kissing his shoulder. He sighed softly, then pushed himself up from me so he could gaze into my eyes. He was back. I hissed in a breath when I felt him start to pull out of me, then tightened my grip on him with my legs to try and stop him moving. Stay…

"Wha-" His smile faded as he took in my expression, and his brow furrowed with sadness. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" I murmured, frowning.

"You didn't… Did you?" he asked dejectedly.

I smiled up at him, gently cupping his cheeks in my hands and guiding his lips down to mine. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," he argued, shaking his head. "Of course it matters."

"No, it doesn't," I replied softly as I pressed my lips to his.

"Bella, just… give me a minute to…" he mumbled, then began kissing down my neck as he carefully shifted his hips against mine. My eyes rolled upwards when he gently sucked on the most sensitive spot on my neck, but I quickly forced myself to push those feelings to the back of my mind, using all the strength I had to bring his lips back to mine.

"Edward, it doesn't matter," I told him firmly. "That wasn't why I… I didn't… I wanted you to… It just… doesn't matter. It felt good, even without that."

He nodded weakly, pressing his forehead to mine, then sighed softly before opening his eyes and gazing down at me again.

"Bella, I l-…" He trailed off, his gaze intense, then shook his head and rolled off of me. The loss of him was immediate.

"Hey," I protested as I turned to face him again. "Don't… Don't just…" I shifted closer and placed my hand on his chest. "Don't pull away like that."

He smiled sadly, sliding his arm beneath me to pull me closer. "I'm not pulling away from you, Bella."

"Yes, you…" I sighed, shaking my head as I took in his expression. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing," he replied, his smile more genuine this time as he gazed up at me. "Baby, you're…" His expression softened, and he reached up to cup my cheek. "You're so beautiful."

I blushed, immediately gazing down at his chest again. He laughed softly, then gently brought my lips down to his and kissed me, using the slightest of pressures, like I was a precious doll he was scared of breaking. Not giving him the chance to back out, I pressed my lips against his more firmly, then moaned softly when his hand ghosted down my neck before slipping round to my back, his fingertips barely grazing my breast on their way past.

"So fucking beautiful," he whispered, and I gasped against his lips as he gently pulled me on top of him, my legs falling either side of his automatically. With a soft moan, he coaxed my lips to part with his own, and as I shifted over him to try and get closer, I felt him hardening beneath me.

"Fuck," I breathed, pushing my hips down against his. He thrust up against me slightly, then smiled against my lips when I whimpered softly in surprise. He felt so good. I settled down onto him more firmly, craving more of him, then gasped as he gently sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and grazed it with his teeth as he slowly released it again. Fuck.

"Edward," I mumbled. My arms had started to tremble, my entire body filling with some kind of weird energy that left me almost buzzing, but I wasn't scared. I welcomed the new sensations, trying to lose myself in them, not sure how long it would last for.

I wanted more.

I rocked my hips over his, and as I started to reach down, ready to guide him to where I needed him to be, he rolled us over onto our sides and slowed our kisses to an eventual stop. I groaned in protest and pressed my forehead against his as I tried to calm my breathing again. Whatever he wanted to say was obviously important.

"I think…" he began, then hesitated before continuing, "I need Didyme."

The warmth flowing through my body was instantly replaced with icy coldness, and my eyes snapped open in shock. Oh, my God.

"Right," I mumbled, then rolled over and away from him. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I wasn't enough for him. Who was I fucking kidding, thinking I could be? Of course I wasn't good enough; none of it was fucking real, after all.

"Where are you going?" Edward protested, reaching out and grabbing my wrist as I tried to stand up.

"To get the phone," I lied as I tried to pull my wrist from his grasp. He resisted for a moment, then loosened his grip, allowing me to get up and move away from him.

My hands were trembling almost violently as I walked over to the desk to pick up my phone, and I had to concentrate harder than usual to try and type out a text to Didyme.

Sorry to bother you – I know it's late. Edward needs you, and I don't know what to do. I tried to help, but I don't think it worked. I'm not enough. Please come as soon as you can. Bella x

It only took her a minute to send a reply.

I'm on my way now.

Swallowing hard, I put my phone back on the desk and walked into the wardrobe, diverting my gaze away from the bed as I did so. The realization that it was all fake hurt more than I cared to admit, and I cursed myself for being stupid enough to think otherwise. Why couldn't I switch off my emotions? I knew better than this.

Not wanting to go back into the bedroom to grab my clothes from before, I picked out one of the silk robes hanging up on my side and quickly slid it on, tying it securely around me to cover up as much skin as possible. I was still shaking.

"Bella?"

I slowly turned to face him, and was surprised to see he'd slipped his pajama pants back on.

"What's…" he began, but I quickly cut across him, my tone surprisingly sharp.

"Didyme's on her way up," I told him, forcing myself to stay still as he slowly walked towards me. "I'll stay in the bathroom so you can talk to her in private."

"Baby, you don't-"

"Yes, I do," I replied, shivering when he reached out and gently gripped my hips before gazing into my eyes. "I know you don't want to talk to me or tell me what's bothering you, so I'm not going to force you to by intruding on something you obviously want to keep between you and her."

"Bella, that's not…" His expression turned sad. "Where's this coming from?"

"Nowhere," I lied. "It's always been this way."

"No, it hasn't," he replied softly, shaking his head. "Bella…"

"I need to use the bathroom."

He sighed heavily, clenching his eyes shut for a moment, and when he opened them again, I could see something hidden within them, but couldn't identify what it was. Seeming to give up on trying to tell me what he was trying to say, he gently cupped my cheek in his hand, then slowly leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.

I tried not to react to his kiss, but as he began to pull away again, I couldn't stop myself from leaning forwards and kissing him back. I wasn't mad at him, not really, and I wanted him to know that, wanted him to know that although everything was fake to him, it was starting not to be for me. I couldn't deny this anymore, couldn't deny the attraction I felt towards him, that undeniable pull that kept drawing me to him… Maybe if I just embraced it and stopped fighting, it wouldn't hurt so bad. But then again, maybe it would hurt me even more.

"I need to go," I whispered against his lips when we eventually broke apart. I needed some space so I could try and clear my head again; his mere presence seemed to make me lose focus nowadays.

"Okay, baby," he murmured, then gently kissed my forehead, his lips lingering against my skin. "You don't have to stay in there if you don't want to. I don't mind you knowing."

"Yes, you do," I sighed as I pulled back from him and smiled sadly. "You would have told me by now if you didn't."

"I-"

"Shhh," I whispered, pressing my fingers against his lips. "It's okay. I understand."

"Baby…" he breathed, but I cut him off before he could say any more, resting my fingers beside his chin as I leaned forwards and kissed him softly.

"Come get me when you've finished talking," I told him, then smiled weakly before walking away from him and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I leaned back against the cool wood and closed my eyes. So much had happened today, I couldn't even begin to try and process it yet. I knew Rosalie wouldn't betray us; her personal connection to my co-worker, Emmett made sure of that, so I wasn't worried on that front. She would be able to stand up to Royce if he ever tried to get to her – her actions at lunch had proved as much. Fuck. I had to tell Edward about the key.

Not now. That can wait.

I shook my head and laughed at myself. Why couldn't I just treat this like a normal job? Why did I have to grow attached to Edward? Why did Carlisle send Edward in so young? So many questions were buzzing around my head, almost as though they were making up for my momentary break when I was with Edward. My mind had shut down back then, giving me those precious moments of peace, but now it was on overdrive once again and I couldn't shut it off.

Christ, what if my walking off like I just had made things worse for him? He obviously needed me – my presence calmed him. And now I wasn't there… What if he went back under?

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. Didyme would be here soon. She would know how to deal with it better than me.

And I hated her for it.

I laughed out loud again. I had no claim over Edward, and yet… I was acting like a jealous girlfriend. It was so pathetic, it was almost comical.

I had no idea how long I stood there, but after a while I heard somebody knock softly from the other side of the door, and was startled out of my reverie.

"Yeah?" I called as I turned and gripped the handle.

"Bella, it's Didyme," came the reply. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

I opened the door and gestured for her to come in, then smiled weakly in greeting before shutting the door behind her, ignoring the urge to go out and see how Edward was doing.

"Is he alright?" I asked her as I leaned against the door again.

"I gave him something to help him sleep," she explained, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. "He's worried about you."

"I'm fine," I lied. She looked at me dubiously, obviously not believing me.

"He asked me to talk to you," she said softly. "About what's going on."

"Oh." A weird, unidentifiable feeling settled in my chest. "Okay."

"Do you want to sit down?"

"Will I need to?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

"Maybe," she replied, smiling sadly. I exhaled shakily, then moved to sit down on the closed toilet seat, wanting to distance myself from her a little so I could process things on my own.

"Okay, um…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say. Didyme sighed, glancing down at her hands.

"Edward suffers from a form of post-traumatic stress disorder."

My eyes widened in shock. "W-What?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise," she said softly. "He usually copes quite well, but sometimes things get a little too much for him and he has… episodes."

"H-how?" How did I not see this before?

"I'm sure you know his parents died when he was sixteen," she told me. That struck a nerve; I hadn't known that. Evidently, Carlisle had missed out that minor detail. "But I doubt you'll know the circumstances under which they were killed."

"I was told it was an accident," I lied, assuming that would be the cover story given to everyone.

"A car accident, yes," Didyme confirmed, nodding. "Their deaths were caused by a car crash, but it wasn't accidental."

"What do you mean?" I started feeling nauseated, already knowing exactly what she meant.

"Edward's parents were… They were part of our organization," Didyme explained. I fought to keep my expression neutral. "And we believe they were killed by a rival group to try and scare us into submission."

I pressed my hands against my stomach, willing the nausea to go away. I'd been there. I'd lost both parents that way, only The Volturi were the rival organization in their case. Oh, Edward…

"He was… in the car when it crashed," Didyme murmured, so softly, I almost didn't hear her.

"What?" I breathed, gazing up at her for the first time since she'd started speaking.

"Nobody quite knows how it happened," she continued. "But somehow, he managed to survive. All the other occupants in the car were killed on impact, but Edward escaped with only a few minor injuries. It was a miracle he was okay."

"He's not fucking okay," I snapped, then quickly had to reign in my anger. "He's got post-whatever-you-said-it-was. He has nightmares. He lost his entire family. He is not okay."

"I apologize," Didyme said softly. "I meant in a physical sense."

"I know," I mumbled, embarrassed by my outburst. "Sorry."

I couldn't stand it when people talked so nonchalantly about death and loss, and said how 'lucky' people were for surviving an ordeal like that. Those people were the ones who were damaged the most – the psychological scars never faded. That kind of loss… it was hard to come back from. I knew that first hand.

"He…" She trailed off, then gazed up into my eyes again. "He wants me to tell you what happened when he was out with Felix and Demetri."

"I don't need to know that," I assured her, shaking my head. "I don't want to."

"Bella… He needs me to tell you." I was tempted to cover my ears with my hands. "He didn't… he didn't do anything."

I looked up at her, confused. "But…"

"There were some complications with the… Something happened, and Felix was forced to… Edward was holding him when they shot him."

My hands flew to my mouth. "Oh, my God. How could they… Why… How… What… Do they not know?"

"They are aware of his situation," Didyme replied, her tone bitter. "But Aro still occasionally sends him out on jobs like that if the risk of anything happening is low, which he believed it was."

Somehow, her words sounded a little rehearsed, almost as though she'd been told that exact same thing time and time again.

"I've tried to explain just how deeply Edward is affected, but in this business… Sometimes sacrifices have to be made."

"I understand," I told her, because I honestly did. I knew certain circumstances were sometimes unavoidable in this sort of world; I'd experienced it first hand. It still didn't make it right, though. "Thank you for trying."

"You don't have to thank me," Didyme chided, smiling sadly. I smiled back at her, all my misplaced anger fading at once. Now I understood what Edward was going through, the idea of him only needing me because I calmed him wasn't so awful. If I was able to give him even the slightest bit of peace, the emotional pain I felt would be worth it; I knew what that sort of need felt like – I'd suffered through it after Charlie was murdered, only I didn't have anyone to help me back then.

"I… I think I need to…" I trailed off, completely lost for words.

"I'll leave you two to talk or… whatever you need to do," Didyme said softly, standing up. "I understand this must be confusing and difficult for you, Bella. If you ever need to talk, please… don't hesitate."

"I won't," I promised, standing up too and taking a few steps towards her. She opened her arms for me to step in to, then hugged me tightly before breaking the embrace and smiling.

"There's going to be a celebration of sorts soon," she told me. "Everyone's meeting in the den for a night of… entertainment. Marcus and I will be there, and you and Edward are welcome to come if you'd like?"

"I'll have to see how he's doing," I replied. We'd have to go, I knew that. It would give us the chance to maybe make some progress with our plans, and that was an opportunity we couldn't afford to miss. "But that does sound like a nice idea."

"There's no pressure for you to attend these things," she murmured. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I know it's intimidating."

"I'll never get over my insecurities about not knowing anyone if I never make the effort, will I?" I told her, smiling weakly. "I think going down to the den will be good. For both of us."

"Hopefully, I'll see you there," she replied, then kissed my cheek. "I ought to go now – Marcus will be waiting for me."

"I'll walk you out," I murmured, but she held her hand up to stop me from stepping towards the door.

"Bella, I don't need an escort," she chided. "You need to be with Edward right now. Take a moment to… do whatever you need to do, then go to him."

I nodded, grateful for the reprieve. "I'll talk to you soon. Thank you so much for coming to see us. It means a lot to me."

"Any time, Bella," she murmured. "Any time."

Smiling widely, I watched as she exited the bathroom and shut the door behind her, giving me a few moments to collect myself in private. I was angry with myself for not seeing what was wrong with Edward before now, angry with Carlisle for sending him here in the first place, knowing Edward's situation, but most of all, I was sad. Edward shouldn't have had to suffer alone.

Sighing softly, I untied my robe and hung it up on the hook on the door, then counted to three before pushing down on the handle and walking out into the bedroom. Dwelling on things wouldn't do any good for anyone right now.

"Bella?" Edward called softly as I pulled the bathroom door shut, sounding exhausted.

"I'm here," I assured him as I rushed over to the bed, all traces of anger from before dissipating instantly when I took in his apologetic, sad expression.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he mumbled. I shook my head and climbed into bed beside him, rolling over so I could face him.

"Edward, you have nothing to be sorry for, okay? Nothing." I slid my arm around his waist, then coaxed him to turn to face me too. "I spoke to Didyme…" He let out a shaky, nervous breath. "Baby… None of it was your fault. You're not to blame for any of it."

"I am," he mumbled, ashamed. I pressed myself fully against him and gently leaned in to kiss him.

"It's not your fault," I whispered against his lips. "You're not alone anymore. I'm here."

"Bella," he breathed, sliding his arms around me and cradling me against him. I buried my face in his neck and gently ran my hand up and down his back to soothe him.

"Thank you," he whispered after a few moments, tightening his hold on me.

"You don't need to thank me," I chided as I slipped my leg between his. "I understand, baby. Better than you'd think."

He nodded weakly, falling silent for a couple of moments, then exhaled a deep, shaky breath before whispering, "I love you, Bella."

I closed my eyes, feeling that same unidentifiable emotion rise up in my chest again at his words. "I love you too, Edward."