The next few days passed without incident. Edward had stayed in the suite with me the entire time, but we hadn't really done much but watch a few films and just… be together. It was weird, spending time with him like that after everything that had happened. I'd just felt so… calm. I had clarity again – I could make sense of it all, start trying to compartmentalize it and disconnect myself emotionally from everything. Well, almost everything.
Edward and I hadn't really been physical at all during that time, which was probably for the best. It was too raw a subject for us. Some memories had started coming back to me from that night and… Let's just say they made it very difficult to keep my cool around him sometimes.
But, having said that, it had allowed me to put things into perspective a little. As much as I found myself wanting to try and see if there was a genuine attraction between us, I knew now just how dangerous it would be first hand. Although some of it had been down to my awful hangover and the fact I'd been drugged (Didyme was almost one hundred percent sure that's what had happened now), I'd let my emotions get the better of me, and that had been painfully obvious to everyone.
According to Edward though, that was a good thing. He'd spoken to Aro the next day and from what he'd been able to gather, my breakdown of sorts was exactly the right thing to have happened. It made sense, really; it'd had been obvious I'd had some training if I hadn't of reacted at all. Evidently, I was incredibly convincing – Aro didn't suspect a thing. He didn't seem so skeptical of me anymore, but Edward and I both knew better than to get complacent. We weren't out of the woods yet.
So, for the fourth day in a row, Edward and I were lying in bed together watching some mindless romantic comedy which wasn't funny and I couldn't even remember the title of. My head was on his chest, as usual, and I'd become so bored, I'd started drawing invisible shapes on his stomach with my finger.
"You're not enjoying this, are you?" Edward asked as his fingers, which had been running through my hair, stopped their soothing movements.
"It's… alright," I lied, turning my head to face him.
"Bella," Edward replied, raising his eyebrow as he pushed my hair back from my face. He rolled his eyes, smirking, then reached over to the bedside table and hit the 'stop' button on the remote.
"Good," he said, still grinning. "I thought the film was shit too."
"How did you-" I began, but he cut me off by pulling me up to him, his hand moving to cup my cheek.
"I know you, Isabella Marie," Edward replied, gazing into my eyes. "Much better than you give me credit for."
"Yeah, I guess you do," I mumbled as a blush spread across my cheeks.
"Hey," he murmured, tilting my chin up so I'd look him in the eyes again before gently stroking my cheek. "No hiding, okay?"
"Okay," I whispered back, smiling shyly. He smiled back, then slowly leaned in to kiss me, his lips so gentle, I momentarily had to remind myself that this was just him doing his job. After a moment, he pushed his body into mine more and deepened the kiss just a little, almost teasingly.
Moaning softly, I pressed myself harder against him, then smiled against his lips when he reached down and hitched my leg up around his hip. He smiled back, then slowly rolled me onto my back, shifting so his body was half-covering mine. I let out a gasping breath when he pushed his hips against me, but was silenced when he kissed me harder than before, moving to cover me more fully.
"I love you," he breathed as his lips trailed down to my neck and his nose nudged my hair out the way.
"I love you, too," I whispered, then bit down hard on my bottom lip to stifle the moan which threatened to escape me as he pressed his lips against that hyper-sensitive spot on my neck. I brought one of my hands up to slide into his hair whilst the other gripped onto his t-shirt tightly, and inhaled sharply when his teeth lightly grazed my skin.
"Jesus, Edward," I half-sighed, half-moaned, tilting my head to give him better access to my neck. Edward had shown me where one of the cameras in the suite was most likely to be, and I knew that from this angle, they'd be getting a clear view of my face, so tried to use it to our advantage by letting my mouth fall open in 'pleasure' before slowly opening my eyes and pushing Edward away from my neck.
His brow furrowed for a moment, betraying his confusion, but I just smiled breathlessly before pulling him back down to me and wrapping my other leg around his waist as I pressed my lips to his. He groaned softly, then shifted higher so he could push his hips into mine more firmly. I gasped with surprise at the feel of him half-hard against me, but quickly realized it was probably nothing more than a natural reaction to the stimulation and chided myself for being stupid enough to think otherwise.
"Bella…" he breathed, then thrust his hips sharply against mine again before resting his weight on one of his forearms and undoing the shirt I'd 'borrowed' from him to wear in bed with his free hand.
"Edward," I began, but he just kissed me again and pushed my hands above my hand to restrain me as his lips moved lower, down to my newly exposed chest. My heart was starting to race now, my body's reaction to him genuine and uncontrollable.
"Mmm," he hummed as he pressed his lips to the swell of one of my breasts. I pushed his hair back from his forehead so I could look at him, and when he glanced up at me, all the air seemed to rush from my lungs.
"I-" I managed to choke out, but before I could say anything more, there was a loud buzzing from nearby, and we both groaned with frustration.
"Ignore it," I breathed, but he just shook his head and moved higher up my body, letting go of one of my wrists so he could reach for his pager.
"Baby, please," I urged, cupping his cheek with my free hand and turning his head back in my direction. "Stay."
"Bella," he sighed. So, being the desperate, horny little girlfriend I was supposed to be, I reached up and grabbed the hand which was pinning my wrist, then brought it down to cup one of my breasts.
"Please," I whispered, then let out a soft moan when his thumb brushed over my nipple.
"I have to see who it is," he murmured, looking conflicted.
"Tell them you're busy," I pleaded, then let my eyes fall shut as he leaned down to kiss me softly before bringing his pager closer so he could read it.
"It's Aro," he sighed. "Shit."
"No!" I groaned in protest when he pushed himself back from me, then scrambled to sit on his lap to stop him from getting up. "Please."
"Bella," he began, but I kissed him hard, pulling his hands up to my hips before cupping his face in my hands.
"Stay with me," I whispered, grinding my hips against his. "Please, baby. Stay."
"Bella, I can't," he murmured, shaking his head, though his hands still guided my movements slightly.
"But I can tell you want me," I breathed, then smiled against his lips as I sat back a bit and circled my hips deliberately, as if grinding down on him.
"God, Bella," he groaned, moving one of his hands up to cup one of my breasts. "I have to go."
"I want you," I told him as I pressed my lips hard onto his, slipping my tongue between the part in his lips. His grip on my hip tightened almost painfully, and before I had the chance to move any more, he turned us round and let me fall back onto the bed.
"Bella, I have to go," he said firmly yet breathlessly, shaking his head. I folded my arms across my chest to cover myself, then pulled my knees up towards myself, away from him.
"Can't you just tell them you're busy? Are they really that much more important than me?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at him as though pissed off.
"Bella, you know it's not like that," he murmured, then moved to kiss me softly. I turned my head, making his lips brush against my cheek instead. He sighed, then pushed himself off the bed and ran his hands through his hair.
"This life doesn't just stop because we want to get it on, you know," he said softly. I scoffed at him, buttoning my shirt angrily. "It's a business they're trying to run here; I'm at work almost all the time."
"It wouldn't be like this if we didn't live here, Edward," I pointed out, sitting up and crossing my legs.
"No, it wouldn't. You're right," he replied, turning to face me. "We wouldn't be able to spend four days watching films with each other or eat in every night or have our every need taken care of all the time. I'd be gone from nine to five, and we'd barely see each other."
I looked down at my lap, making myself look apologetic. "I know. Sorry."
"It's okay, baby. I know it's frustrating, but can you at least try to understand?" he replied, and I felt the bed dip as he sat down beside me.
"I just wish…" I trailed off with a shrug.
"I know, sweetheart," he whispered, then wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head.
"How long will you be gone?" I asked softly, bringing my hands up to hold his arm.
"I'm not sure," he replied. "It depends on what they need me to do."
"Try not to be gone too long," I pleaded. "I don't like being on my own."
"I know you don't, baby. I'll try, but can't make any promises."
I nodded reluctantly, then sighed before turning my head in his direction again.
"I love you, Bella," he said softly, gazing into my eyes.
"I love you too, Edward," I murmured, then moaned quietly when he leaned in and kissed me tenderly before standing again and smiling sadly.
"I gotta go and get ready," he told me. "Text Gianna what you want for lunch and, if I'm not back in time, dinner as well."
"On what, exactly?"
Edward walked over to the desk and fumbled around for a few moments, shifting papers and Christ only knows what else (I hadn't dared go over there to look myself), then turned and threw me an iPhone.
"Her number's already logged in there, and it should have decent battery left," he told me. I looked up at him, stunned.
"Don't you need this?" I wondered.
"Nope. I've got my own," he replied, grinning.
"So, um… Can I, like, text you?" I asked, then tugged on my bottom lip with my teeth. Edward laughed and shook his head.
"I might not be able to reply, but you can text me if you really want." He walked over and kissed me once more, then winked before heading towards the closet to get changed.
I turned the iPhone over in my hands, then smiled before unlocking it and clicking on the messages button. I quickly typed out a brief message to Edward, then scrolled through his contacts until I found his number before hitting send. I heard his phone go off in the next room, and heard him laugh loudly in response to what he'd read.
Moments later, the iPhone beeped.
Very funny, B. Behave.
I smiled to myself, then typed out the first thing that came into my head.
I am behaving. There's nothing wrong with me telling you my state of dress… or undress. xx
I knew Edward telling me to behave was an actual warning – I wouldn't put it past the Volturi to track people's texts and read them; they had fucking cameras and microphones everywhere, after all.
Maybe so, but the thoughts that accompany that image definitely are. x
Oooh, Mr. Masen. Are you trying to tell me you're having dirty thoughts about me? xx
Stop wasting my credit, Isabella. ;) x
:-P xx
I grinned at how immature we were being, then put the phone down on the bedside table before getting out the bed and walking over to the shelf of DVDs that was mounted on the wall near the TV. We'd already watched quite a few, so my choice was limited, but I eventually decided on Penelope, since Jake and I had watched it back home once or twice, and I knew I'd be able to sleep through it.
"Edward," I called over my shoulder as I opened the DVD case. "Why do you have Penelope?"
"Mmm?" came the reply, and two warm arms wrapped around me from behind unexpectedly, making me jump.
"I said," I sighed, trying to calm my suddenly racing heart, "why do you have Penelope?"
"I… don't know," he replied, sounding confused. "I don't remember seeing that there before."
"Oh. Well, it doesn't matter," I told him as he pressed his lips against my shoulder. "I'll just watch it anyway."
"It's a kid's film," he pointed out, nuzzling my neck and pulling me back against him.
"I know, but it's a good kid's film, and will give me something to fall asleep to," I replied, bringing my hand up to stroke his hair.
"If you say so," he murmured, smiling against my skin before pulling back and turning me round to face him.
"You have to go now, don't you?"
"Yes," he sighed, looking sad. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," I assured him with a smile. "I can manage on my own for a while."
"If you need anything, text me, okay?" He squeezed my hips, silently signaling me.
"Of course," I murmured, then pushed myself up using my good foot and kissed him softly. He pulled me against him, supporting my weight a little, then kissed me deeply one more time before sighing heavily.
"I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I know," I replied softly, smiling. "See you soon."
He hesitated a moment, looking conflicted, then kissed my forehead before turning and hurrying out the room, leaving me alone yet again.
Time passed very slowly after that. Once I'd watched Penelope, I ordered myself a late lunch, and just as I was finishing eating, the iPhone buzzed beside me. I smiled happily to myself, hoping it would be Edward telling me he'd be back soon, so hurriedly put my tray down on the floor and leaned over to get the phone.
Hey, Bella. I'm so sorry, but things are going to take much longer than I thought they would. Order yourself some dinner, okay? I'll be back when I can. Love you xx
I made my expression change to one of disappointment.
Edward, you said you'd be back! I replied.
I know, baby, I know. I'm sorry. I'm out with Felix and Demetri at the moment, and things are more complicated than we'd hoped they'd be. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you, Bella. xx
Felix and Demetri? Fuck.
When I'd asked Edward about them after that dreadful brunch with Aro, he'd told me that, like him, they were what were known as 'floaters' because they weren't actually assigned to one particular division of the Volturi, but he'd also said they often worked under Aro whenever he needed some debts to be 'collected'. Or when leaks needed to be 'plugged'. Just like the Denali family.
I though Edward had told me that he himself had never actually been the one to kill or maim the victims, I could tell it affected him deeply for some reason, and that had me worried. What if Aro wanted him to be the one to do it this time?
I love you too, Edward. Very much. Be safe. xx
I knew the odds of him replying were slim, so after sending a quick text to Gianna telling her I was finished with my food (she'd told me she'd come up to take my tray from me when I needed her to), I put the phone down on the bedside table and climbed out of bed. Although my foot wasn't as painful as it had been before, it still ached if I put too much weight on it, so I carefully made my way over to the DVD shelf to find another film.
Atonement? Too sad.
The Departed? Seen it.
Avatar? Hell no. Wait… Avatar?
My eyes widened as I pulled the DVD off the shelf, and when I opened the case to find that this Avatar was definitely the same one that wasn't meant to be released on DVD for at least another month, I couldn't help but laugh. Yet another crime to be added to the ever growing list, though I doubted movie piracy would be a particularly big deal in comparison to everything else. It actually seemed kind of tame.
Shaking my head in amusement, I put the DVD back on the shelf and finally decided to pick out The Dark Knight. Edward and I had already watched it the day before, so it wouldn't really matter if I accidentally fell asleep halfway through.
As it happened, that's exactly what I did.
"Aunt Bella? Aunt Bella, quick! Come see what I did!"
"Jake, slow down!" I cried, laughing as he pulled me along with the strength and enthusiasm only a six year old could possess.
"But, Bellaaaaaaa!" he whined, then turned and looked up at me with those cute 'puppy dog' eyes he only ever used when he wanted his own way. "We have to hurry!"
"Okay, okay! Give me a sec to get my coat off first, alright?"
"Hurry up!" he urged, practically jumping up and down on the spot as he watched me unbutton my coat.
"Where's Alice, baby?" I asked as I hung my coat up on the hook near the door.
"Momma Alice and Papa Jasper are upstairs having 'playtime'," he replied, and I barely managed to stifle a laugh. 'Playtime' indeed.
"Come on then, mister, where's this thing you wanted to show me?" I sighed, then shook my head as he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the lounge.
"I made the biggest car in the entire world!" he cried enthusiastically, grinning over his shoulder at me. "Look!"
"Wow, Jake," I gasped, feeling my eyes widen as I took a step towards it. "A real car?"
I turned back round to look at Jake, but he'd disappeared. "Jake?"
"Bella, help!"
"Jake?" I shouted as I rushed towards the door leading back into the hallway.
"Bella! Eddie's in trouble!" I heard Jake shout from upstairs, and quickly sprinted up them as fast as possible.
"Jake, where are you?" I called as I pushed open the first door I came across – the one leading to Alice and Jasper's room.
"Bella, quick! He's all red!"
"Jake, honey, I'm coming!" I pushed open the next door. And then the next one. And the next one. Why were there so many doors?
"Bella…"
Edward?
Warmth encased me from behind.
"Bella, wake up."
I had to find them…
"Bella?"
So close…
"Bella, baby… Please."
I startled awake, then gasped when warm arms tightened their hold on me from behind, pulling me back against a familiar body.
"Edward?" I croaked, confused.
"You're awake," he sighed, sounding relieved.
"What are you doing he-" Before I had the chance to finish my sentence, Edward rolled me over onto my back and moved to cover me, nudging my legs apart.
"God, Bella," he murmured, then slipped his arms around me before pressing his lips hard against mine. I let out a muffled groan of surprise, then felt my eyes widen as one of his hands slipped down to my thigh and pulled it up and around his hip, giving him better access to thrust against me.
"What's-" I tried to get out, but he just kissed me more urgently, his eyes clamped tightly shut and his expression pained. He shifted upwards against me, covering my body entirely, and as he pushed his hips harder into mine, his grip on my ribcage tightened uncomfortably.
"Edward-" I mumbled, straining to move away from him. His lips were relentless and all-consuming, barely giving me space to breathe. "Edward, I can't-"
He roughly pulled my thigh further round him, then pushed my chest up against his, crushing me.
"Edward, stop," I gasped, shoving against his shoulders urgently. "You're hurting me!"
He loosened his hold on my chest, but instead of moving away like I'd hoped, he just pinned one of my wrists above my head to stop me touching him.
"Edward, please," I began, but cut myself off with a moan when the next thrust of his hips made his belt buckle press against me. My moan seemed to spur him on even more, and his lips became almost sloppy against mine as he licked and bit down on my lips, so hard I thought he'd draw blood. What the fuck was going on?
"Edward, please stop," I groaned, resorting to trying to actually roll him off me now. The moment my free hand brushed against his shoulder blade though, all thoughts of getting him off me went straight out the window.
"Edward, what the fuck is that?" I asked worriedly, bringing my hand closer to my face so I could get a better look at the liquid now staining my fingers. Holy shit.
"Edward, you're bleeding!" I cried, looking up at him with wide eyes.
"Doesn't matter," he muttered, shaking his head as he began kissing my neck. I pushed myself up awkwardly to get a better look at his shoulder, and gasped when I saw his shirt was torn, exposing a large cut on his skin.
"Edward… Fucking hell," I muttered. Something was very, very wrong. "Please stop."
He just ignored me.
Using all the strength I could muster, I snatched my wrist out from under his grip, then pushed against his chest at the same time I rolled over, bringing me directly on top of him. Panting from exertion, I braced myself by pinning his hands beside his head, then gasped loudly as I took in the blood stains on his shirt.
"Oh, my God," I whispered, horrified. "What the hell happened?"
I looked up at his face, and frowned when I saw his eyes were clamped shut again and his expression was one of pure anguish. Swallowing hard, I gazed down at his chest again, and felt my stomach turn when I realized the spray of blood could not be his own.
"Edward, what happened?" I asked worriedly, and when he didn't reply, I hurriedly climbed off him and ran my non-bloody hand through my hair. What do I do?
"Ummm… Okay, we um… We need to get you patched up, okay?" I stammered, then belatedly realized I couldn't just waltz on into the bathroom and grab the first aid supplies before treating him in here. I'd had to get him into the bathroom. Fuck.
"Baby, come on," I urged as I leaned over him and cupped his cheeks in my hands. Doing the only thing I could think of to get him to react, I pressed my lips against his, then sighed with relief when he began to kiss me back.
"Come on, baby," I murmured against his lips, taking his hands in mine and pulling him up with me as I slowly straightened again.
Edward allowed me to pull him to his feet, and I had to fight the urge to grimace when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close. I tentatively wrapped my own arms around him, careful not to touch his wound, then slowly began walking backwards towards the bathroom, still kissing him softly.
Eventually, my back hit the bathroom door, and as I reached down to fumble for the handle, Edward began kissing me more urgently again.
"It's okay," I assured him, then pushed down on the handle and slowly opened the door, allowing myself to move with it. The moment both of us were inside, I awkwardly leaned out of Edward's embrace and pushed the door shut again before locking it. Edward pulled me back into him instantly, reluctant to let me go, but I pushed against his chest, forcing him to release me.
"Come sit over here, baby," I told him, then took his hands in mine and led him over to the bathtub, coaxing him to sit down on the edge of it. "Where's the first aid stuff, babe?"
He didn't respond, as expected, but the microphones wouldn't know that.
"Over here?" I called as I walked over to the cabinet. "Umm, okay, so I need gauze and stuff right, like you used on my feet?"
I rummaged around for the supplies I'd need, grabbing some steri-strips just in case the cut was deep, then quickly headed back over to Edward and put them down beside him.
"Baby, um… Take off your shirt?" I murmured, then laughed, as if he'd just raised his eyebrow at me or something. "I didn't mean it like that! Look, just…"
I crouched down before him and slowly reached up to unbutton his shirt. Edward was just staring blankly down at his lap, his entire body trembling as I carefully undid button after button, making sure I didn't react to the blood that was staining the fabric.
Once his shirt was undone, I gently pushed it back off his shoulders before stepping into the bathtub behind him and pulling it down from there.
"Jesus, baby, that looks painful," I breathed out as I took in the sight of the large, jagged cut on his shoulder. "Who did this to you?"
He didn't reply.
"I know, I know – you can't tell me," I sighed, then laughed uneasily. "Okay, well, um… It doesn't look too deep or anything so, um… Do you want me to get Didyme?"
"No."
I startled at the sound of his voice, but quickly covered it by murmuring a soft, "Okay. I should probably clean it though, right? Like you did with my toes?"
He nodded numbly, then went back to looking down at his lap once more. Shit.
On impulse, I leaned down and kissed the top of his head to try and soothe him, then reached for the gauze and cleaning solution.
"This might sting a little," I warned as I poured some solution out onto the gauze. I hesitated for a moment, waiting for a reply I knew wouldn't come, then gently pressed the gauze against the wound. When he didn't react, I became even more worried. Edward, what have they done to you?
Not wanting to draw things out unnecessarily, I hurriedly cleaned the wound as best I could, then carefully applied some steri-strips to the most jagged areas of it to help it heal better, then stuck on a water-proof dressing to protect it.
"Baby, let's shower," I murmured softly as I climbed out the bath, soiled supplies in hand. I threw them into the trash can below the sink, then turned the tap on and scrubbed my hands clean of all traces of blood to avoid freaking him out.
Once I was sure I was clear, I turned and hurried over to the shower to switch it on. I knew I needed to get him under the spray – it was my only hope to get him out of this funk he was in. But how?
"Edward," I called as I approached him. "Look at me."
After a few seconds, he did. I swallowed hard. His expression just… there was nothing there.
"We need to shower," I told him, then stepped forwards and reached for his hands. He nodded numbly in consent, then took my hands in his and allowed me to pull him to his feet.
Not giving myself the chance to over-think things, I hurriedly unbuckled his belt and unzipped his slacks before pushing them to the floor. I hesitated briefly when my fingers grazed the waistband of his boxers, but decided we didn't really have the luxury of modesty right now, so pushed them to the floor too, making sure to keep my eyes locked on his the entire time.
I took a deep, steadying breath, then unbuttoned my shirt and dropped that to the floor before pushing down my shorts and panties, leaving me just as bare as he was. His eyes strayed from mine for only a moment, but when he looked back up, some of the life that had disappeared was back.
"Okay?" I murmured. To my surprise, he nodded weakly, then took my hand in his. I entwined our fingers and squeezed his hand reassuringly, then led him over to the shower and stuck my hand beneath the spray to check the temperature. It was a little on the hot side for me, but I'd learned the hard way that Edward liked his showers hot, so knew it would probably be just right for him
I climbed in first to show him it was okay, then tugged on his hands, coaxing him to join me. He exhaled an unsteady breath, then stepped under the spray and allowed me to close the doors behind him. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, then turned and grabbed his shampoo from the shelf behind me.
"I'm going to wash your hair for you, okay?" I told him softly as I undid the cap and squeezed some shampoo out onto my hand. "Step out from under the spray and sit down on the seat?"
He did as I'd asked, and I stepped between his legs, grateful for once that the shower was so luxurious. His hands came up to grip the back of my legs, pulling me closer as I gently lathered the shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp with my fingertips to soothe him. I knew from experience that he liked his hair being played with, and hopefully now wouldn't be an exception.
"Close your eyes and tilt your head back for me?" I murmured softly as I turned the dial to activate the hand-held spray. Once Edward had done what I asked, I took my time rinsing his hair, making sure I covered his eyes with my hand just like I used to whenever I washed Jake's hair back home.
"Alright, um…" I replaced the shower head and turned the dial back to the other setting, allowing water to rain down on us from above. "I'm going to wash you now… unless you want to do it yourself?"
He shook his head, pulling me into him, then rested his forehead on my stomach. Christ.
I was dumbstruck. I'd never seen him like this before. What the fuck was I supposed to do?
Take care of him, I realized, because that was all I could do.
I grabbed the loofah from its hook on the shower wall, then squirted some body wash onto it before holding it under the spray for a few seconds. Then, I gently began to clean Edward's body, starting with his shoulders, then moving to his arms… the small area of his back I could reach…
"Edward, sit back," I said softly, then knelt down in front of him so I could wash the rest of his body. I took my time with his chest and stomach, making sure I cleaned any traces of blood from him before moving on to his lower half, quickly skirting over his more intimate parts.
Once he was clean, I stood up straight again and groaned when my knees clicked. Edward frowned up at me, looking worried, but I just smiled reassuringly and stepped back from him to get my own shampoo. Before I had the chance to move very far, though, Edward stood up and wrapped his arms around me, a panicked expression on his face.
"Edward, I'm not going anywhere," I assured him. He just held me tighter and buried his face in my hair. Fuck, this would be awkward.
With an uneasy laugh, I carefully leaned back from him and held the bottle of shampoo I'd managed to grab up in front of him.
"I need to wash my hair," I told him softly. He nodded, then took a step back from me to give me some space, though his arms still remained around me.
I sighed softly, unable to bring myself to tell him that moving three inches wouldn't really make much difference, then washed and conditioned my hair as quickly as possible, given that he moved with me the entire time. Once the conditioner was fully rinsed from my hair, I gave my body a quick once-over with the loofah, then moved under the spray to get rid of any annoying suds that were left behind. As expected, Edward moved with me as I stepped beneath the spray, but, to my surprise, instead of giving me space, he simply closed the distance between us and held me tightly to him.
"Thank you… Bella," he whispered against my hair, his voice so soft, I barely heard it over the noise of the water.
"You're welcome," I murmured, though we both knew he didn't really have anything to thank me for.
"I'm sorry I…" he began, but cut himself off with a shake of his head before he could say anything more.
"What happened to you, Edward?" I breathed, raising myself up on my toes so I could hold him more firmly. "You scared the shit out of me."
"I…" He shuddered violently and buried his face in my hair. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Edward…" I sighed. "You need to talk to me about this. Whatever it is that's gotten to you…" He shook his head. "You don't have to tell me tonight, but sooner or later, you will have to. I need to know what's going on in case it happens again. I can't have you scaring me like that, okay?"
"Did I… Did I hurt you, Bella?" he murmured, tightening his hold on me once again.
"Almost," I replied truthfully. "But I know that wasn't your fault."
"I couldn't stop," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I just needed to… I need to feel something other than… I couldn't… I wanted to forget…"
"Shhh," I breathed, bringing my hand up to gently stroke his hair. He was getting himself worked up again, I could tell. "Do you need the pills from Didyme?"
"Yes." He sounded so… weak in that moment. It was worrying. This wasn't the Edward I'd come to know. Something was seriously wrong with him, though I couldn't quite place what it was. Why else would he be reacting like this? He'd been so clear about our boundaries before now, and for him to go against them for no apparent reason, then go out of his way to maintain contact with me even when the cameras weren't watching was just… weird.
"Um… Okay, well, you dry yourself off and get into bed, and I'll bring you some pills once I've dried my hair and stuff, okay?" I suggested softly. He nodded in agreement, then squeezed me tightly before finally letting me go and turning to open the shower doors.
"I'll, um… need three of the, uh…" he trailed off, sounding embarrassed.
"Didyme said two was the maximum you could take," I replied softly.
"Bella…"
"I'll give you two," I told him firmly. "And if you have nightmares… I'll wake you up."
He nodded stiffly, shoulders slumped with defeat, then slid open the doors and climbed out the shower, heading over to the towel rail to grab us both towels. I turned off the shower before stepping out myself, then smiled gratefully at Edward as I took the two towels he'd gotten me from him.
"Thank you," I said softly.
"You're welcome." He secured his own towel around his waist, then quickly towel-dried his hair before dumping that towel on the floor by the bath. It didn't escape my notice that the towel ended up shielding his bloodied shirt from view.
"I'll be out in a few minutes," I told him. "I love you."
"Love you too," he replied gruffly, then headed for the door without glancing back at me. I watched him go nervously, unsure if I was doing the right thing by telling him he could only have two pills. But Didyme had been clear when she'd given me the new bottle that that was the dosage he was meant to have, and only if it was absolutely necessary. Then again, Edward knew his body and mind better than anyone, and if he felt he needed them… No. He was going to have two.
I quickly towel-dried my body, then set about drying my hair with the hairdryer as fast as possible, not bothering to try styling it since I was going to be sleeping on it shortly - it would all go to waste if I did. Once my hair was reasonably dry, I gave it a quick once-over with the brush, then brushed my teeth before rinsing my mouth out and washing my hands.
I wasn't entirely sure where Edward had put his pills after I'd given the bottle to him, but assumed they'd be in the same drawer I'd found them in before.
Luckily, I was right.
With a heavy sigh, I placed the bottle on the counter beside the sink, then hurried over to the bathtub and picked up Edward's towel and bloodied shirt. I didn't want him coming in here during the night and having another episode if he saw the shirt, so shoved it into the trash can and hung his towel up on the rail to dry. The rest of our clothes could stay where they were for now.
Swallowing nervously, I grabbed the pill bottle off the counter, undid the child-resistant safety cap with shaking fingers, then tipped out two of the unmarked pills into my palm before taking a deep breath and heading out into the main bedroom.
As expected, Edward was curled up in bed under the duvet, but I could tell by the way his chest was rising and falling unsteadily that he wasn't asleep yet. In an effort to avoid disturbing him too much, I quietly padded over to the mini-fridge for a bottle of water, then slowly walked over to the bed.
"Edward?" I called softly. He rolled over to face me, then smiled weakly when he saw the bottle in my hand. "Here." I handed him the bottle and waited for him to unscrew it before giving him the pills.
"Thank you," he murmured, then drank a mouthful of water before placing the pills on his tongue and swallowing them down with more water. When he was done, I took the bottle from him and screwed the lid back on before putting it down on the bedside table.
"You're on the wrong side of the bed," I realized as I pulled the duvet back, preparing to climb in.
"I thought we'd swap tonight," he replied with a shrug. "Is that okay?"
"Of course," I assured him as I slipped into bed beside him and pulled the duvet up around me. It was already warm, thanks to Edward, and I couldn't help but sigh contentedly as I shifted closer to him and rolled onto my side. "You're so warm."
"I feel cold," he mumbled, but I knew he didn't mean temperature-wise. I wrapped my arm around him and snuggled in close, sliding one of my legs between his as I rested my head on his chest.
"It's a good thing you have me here then, isn't it?" I replied, trying to keep my tone light. Things couldn't get too heavy. Not here. Not with the cameras.
"It is," he murmured softly as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. "I love you, Bella."
"I love you too, baby." I pressed my lips to his chest, then sighed and closed my eyes. "Sweet dreams."
He kissed the top of my head, but didn't reply. I didn't expect him to either – he'd understood what I was really trying to say.
It took a long while for him to fall asleep. I just laid there in silence with my eyes shut the entire time, fighting the urge to say something to comfort him. I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, that nothing was going to happen to him, but something told me that would only make things worse.
When the desire to soothe him became too much though, I settled for trailing my hand up and down his back, since there was nothing else I could do. The Volturi needed to think I was asleep, or they would grow suspicious and probably realize there was a reason I was fighting slumber; I wanted to make sure Edward would be okay first.
After what had to be at least an hour though, I felt myself starting to drift away. I managed to hold out for just a few more seconds to check that Edward was still sound asleep, and once I was certain he was going to be okay, I finally let sleep claim me.
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